The Chaos 


Disclaimer:: This is not a political post. This post is my commentary about the chaos I am seeing unfold on social media after late term abortion was discussed at last night’s debate. I am honestly shocked at the hate, judgement and condemnation that has spewed forth, mostly from believers, and I felt led to say something.

The option of a late term abortion was something that was available to me after we received Annie’s diagnosis of anencephaly. This is obviously the option most women in my position choose (around 95%), but after discussion with my husband we decided against it. I am fortunate enough to have an incredibly selfless and supportive husband, a large and local extended family, a faith that kept me going when I wanted to fall apart, and two healthy and vibrant daughters to hug when I couldn’t stop sobbing. I was also fortunate enough that even though my unborn daughter’s diagnosis was incompatible with life (terminal), doctors also told us she was unlikely to be in any pain.

I stand firmly by my choice to carry Annie to term, and the 14 hours and 58 minutes she was on this earth were some of the very best of my life. I will tell my story to anyone who will listen, I will support any and all women who are or have ever been in my position, and I will advocate for life all the live long day.

What I will not do is stand in judgement of the 95%. I will not assume their story looks just like mine and criticize their choices. I will not hate them for their heartbreak and pain. I will not lump all women seeking abortion into a hurtful and judgmental catagory.

I recognize my privilege, and Annie’s story is beautiful in large part due to that. My husband had a terrifying near death experience in the middle of the ocean in Guam 30 days before we got Annie’s diagnosis, and we often discuss how different this story would be if he would have died. I imagine our story would be different and our decision would have been far more difficult if our baby would have been in unbearable pain. If I didn’t have more sisters than I can shake a stick at to cry with, friends upon friends to pray with, so much help with our living children, who knows what would have happened. I guess I will never know. Carrying a child with a terminal illness to term was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Each day brought forth new and unexpected gut wrenching experiences, and without my support system it would have been impossible.

This post is really just a message to the church. Last night I had a discussion with friends about those believers who are shouting condemnation (before the debate, actually) and we were talking about what to do about it. It seems so simple. We stop the judgement. We stop shouting at each other. We recognize that every story is not the same. The only way to understand someone else’s story is to stop yelling and actually LISTEN, to CARE about them, and to LOVE them. We need to be the support system to those without one. And most of all, it’s time we all take a moment to remove the log out of our own eye before we worry about the speck in our neighbors.

May the Lord bless and keep you.

Abbey

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8 thoughts on “The Chaos 

  1. Beautifully written. I found your story a few years ago through Sarah Thompson’s photography and it has stayed with me ever since. Keep shining your light momma! The world needs more of it!

  2. ❤️This. There is power in loving people right where they’re at. Jesus did it with many who were making choices he wouldn’t have had them made(woman at well comes to mind). He didn’t yell and condemn her. He sat with her, he loved her right where she was, then spoke TRUTH. Hope your words spread across many scared people who then let fear control leading to anger and judgement.

  3. Hola, soy Edy, mi admiracion, hacia unos padres tan buenos. Que bueno que en el mundo haya gente como ellos. Anne vino a este mundo a salvar vidas. Me emociona mucho, Dios guarde a Anne y a su familia. Saludos y felicidades desde Tucumán, Argentina.

    Hi, I’m Edy, my admiration, for such good parents. It’s good that there are people like them in the world. Anne came to this world to save lives. I am very moved, God keep Anne and her family. Greetings and congratulations from Tucumán, Argentina.

  4. Thank you to be who you are and thank you for being stronger and power full than all the people who don’t understand
    The best for you
    Sophie from France

  5. Hi, I’m Bel, I saw yesterday in the news your great deed and I just wanted to thank you. Thank you for being such a brave woman, thank you to your husband too for supporting you from the beginning and making this hard decisition together, thank you to communicate (voluntary or involuntary) your experience to the world because (from my point of view) it’s a beautiful and altruism action that not many people would make. Everyone as their own moral and conscience and that’s what it makes us different. Hope everything is going well. Kind wishes for you and your family from Spain 🙂

  6. Gracias por esta lección de humanidad. Sois increibles. Animo y fuerza papás. Un orgullo que en este mundo haya personas como vosotros. Dios bendiga a Annie y un abrazo para todos vosotros desde Madrid.
    Thanks for this lesson of humanity. You are amazing. Cheer up family! It’s a pride to have people like you in this world. God bless Annie and best wishes for you all from Madrid, Spain.

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