I can’t hold it in one more second, not that I’ve done the best job of keeping it a secret… We are expecting our fifth baby in September!
-Yes, we know we’re nuts, but I think we’re the good kind. Like pecans. ❤ My goal has always been to get a TV show like the Duggars but with beer and dancing, so we’ve still got a ways to go.
-No, we aren’t “trying” for a boy. Our camp is pretty divided on who wants what, and I think we are going to wait and be surprised on baby’s birthday. Im assuming it’s a girl, but in the off chance it is a boy, please send brochures or manuals or something. I’ll have absolutely no idea what to do.
-I’ve already deflected too many questions about the logistics of conception while living in a travel trailer with three kids. Obviously it’s possible. 😂 We are finally living in the house, although it’s still a major construction zone, so stress levels have gone down a bit.
-I’m personally hoping for a new hair color to add to our Neapolitan girls… Blue would be cool.
-Pregnancy after loss is just plain difficult.
The last one is the reason I’m blogging instead of just posting our news. My first pregnancy after Annie was with Iva. That time was so stressful, dripping in fear, and I was still actively grieving. I had hoped this one would be different, more joyful, and so far it really has been. Our first prenatal appointment went so well. We were able to see our tiny new one, heart beating perfectly, and I was so at peace.
Today we had our second appointment, and the Nurse Practitioner student who is working with my doctor started looking for the heartbeat with the Doppler. We had all three girls with us, so Robert and I were trying to get them to stay still and listen, then we realized she wasn’t finding anything. My doctor took over and time slowly ticked by. My heart was pounding and Robert came over and took his comforting spot at my head stroking my hair. After a few minutes I lost it. I panicked and started crying, Iva was asking why, Dylan and Harper seemed confused and concerned, and Robert continued to stroke my hair. Our doctor sent for the ultrasound machine and was quickly able to show us a wriggly little baby with a beautiful beating heart. ❤❤❤ The baby’s position plus how small it is made it difficult (impossible) to find a heartbeat via Doppler. God bless our doctor who is so patient and kind. He has been with us through a traumatic early delivery with Harper Lou, a tragic loss with Annie, an emotionally difficult pregnancy with Iva, an early miscarriage, and now this. He and Robert are a very good and calm team during my more animated moments. ☺️
I still feel emotionally “lighter” compared to my first post-loss pregnancy, but I still feel super braced. This world is not perfect, and I will continue to pray for Hallelujah Spaghetti O’s (because of course that’s what Iva named it) and for us to be able to handle whatever comes our way. ❤🙌🏼🍝